So there I am, in the shower. No, that's not the eerie part. Nor will I ask you to visualize anything anatomic or any act that might be deemed offensive. At least not yet.
Soaping up the back of my leg (yes, on occasion, I even wash in places that I cannot see), when I feel something that is - well, NOT my leg. Instinctively I swing my hand back around, and even my nearly-blind naked eyes can make out the shape of a soggy band-aid draped across my finger. My first thought is "I didn't put that there," followed rapidly by, "shit - when the hell did I last apply a band-aid ANYwhere?" I couldn't even remember.
My next thoughts center around those urban legend emails that circulate every now and then, detailing how unsuspecting victims get drugged by blind dates, and wake up in bathtubs full of ice with their kidneys missing. "When was I unconscious last? Wait a minute - what's back there anyway that someone would cut me for?!?" Nothing hurt on the back of my leg. Didn't feel any sort of scar or wound.
I work in a hospital, so having a band-aid turn up somewhere in my apartment is not so far-fetched. Maybe a little gross if it's a used band-aid from who-know's-what body site, that stuck to the bottom of my shoe for who knows how many days.... I know this can't be the case, since I've been off for 1.5 days and showered already once since then, besides the fact that this was on my THIGH and I never wear shorts at work.
That pretty much cleared out the "ick" factor, and it slowly dawned on me where my temporary accessory had come from. I had the too-infrequent opportunity to hang with some relatives recently, and last night nearly succeeded in breaking one of my nephews. He was already patched-up when I encountered him, so I can't claim administration of any "war wounds." But one of the band-aids on his knee must have transfered onto me during one of our many wrestling sessions. He just turned 9, so for the time being I am blissfully spared from any real risk during these encounters.
But this time he still managed to leave his mark. Thanks, bud!
Rockin’ Muppets?
1 day ago
1 comment:
LMAO! I was imagining the music from Psycho playing too! :p
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